When I first went to university three years ago I struggled with a big challenge: my anxiety. It was very debilitating for me because I was facing constant fear that one of my relentless panic attacks at the time was going to strike during freshers week in a busy club or when I was trapped in a lecture. It definitely affected me more in regards to the whole drinking culture at university, especially around freshers week as I was settling in.
I'm from a small town hadn't had much experience of drinking and going out so I had definitely connected the sick feeling of being drunk to my anxiety. This in turn made me spiral, which would lead to a panic attack. I ended up cancelling almost every plan I had and turning down my flatmates' invitations of nights out. This is something I have always regretted as I feel like I missed out on the typical uni experience of making mistakes in first year!
It is okay to have nights off or to cancel plans
One of the biggest mistakes I made whilst going to uni for the first time was thinking I had to accept every offer to go out that comes my way. This, in turn, left me feeling more anxious because I was forcing myself to drink due to FOMO. Yes, first year is all about having fun and experiencing new things, but it is also okay to say NO or think of an alternative day/plan for you to go out and join them.
Mental health is being less stigmatised within recent years, so I found it much easier to just tell my flatmates and friends whenever I was feeling anxious, rather than appearing uninterested in their plans. You’d be surprised at how understanding and accepting people are and may have actually experienced this, or something similar, themselves! I remember sitting down with a couple of girls who I’d formed more of a friendship with and letting them know my anxiety triggers and they were very helpful in noticing what would cause me to feel anxious. Obviously you don’t need to talk about your anxiety with strangers, but it is important to know that people can be more understanding than you think!
You didn’t die last time, you will not die tonight
Okay, this was a really important phrase for me to repeat to myself in my head on nights out.
The bright lights, the crowds and the fuzzy physical effects from drinking alcohol can be very overwhelming. This is especially the case when you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks! I found that the most helpful think I could do for myself was pushing myself to go on at least ONE night out and not putting too much pressure on myself, just to prove to myself that I CAN do it, and I CAN enjoy myself. So, whenever I next went out I could say to myself 'okay … well I’ve been to this club before and I’ve been around these people before and I did NOT die. I am still alive to tell the tale and I will be the next time I go!'
Find a buddy
I know I discussed previously about not being afraid to tell someone about your anxiety before a night out, but I also think it’s important to tell whoever you go to lectures with as well. Ironically, I found going to lectures to be equally, if not even more overstimulating to my anxiety than nights out. The bright white lights and intimidating atmosphere of the lecture room is enough to make you want to run out for dear life.
Have a checklist and a plan!
Tell yourself, as long as I’ve got my room key I am safe. Put it in your bag immediately and check on it every now and then whenever you feel the urge to leave due to panic. At least then you will know you will always be safe because you can leave whenever you want because you will always have access to your safe space and your familiarity. When I first started going out at uni I felt very trapped in clubs, as though I couldn’t escape but it wasn’t until I realised as long as I had a room key or a bank card, I will never be stuck anywhere. Of course, try to stay and enjoy yourself, but remember you have an escape plan should you need it. This will put your mind at ease!
Get in contact with student mental health services
Although there is still a stigma around mental health, there are now thankfully many more resources available for mental health at university. Each uni has their own mental health services and although some are better than other in regards to funding & availability, they will always help you in a crisis. It is also handy to let the uni know so they can put an action plan in place for exams so they can put you in a separate room or sit you close to the door so you can leave whenever!
Remember…You are not alone. You are safe.
Lots of love,
Josie